Cristiano Ronaldo Confronts Messi About the Golden Boots
Cristiano Ronaldo storms into the tunnel after Argentina’s first match, voice echoing like a royal decree:
RONALDO:
“Leo… explain. WHY are you wearing GOLDEN BOOTS already? How did you know? Who told you you were going to win the Golden Boot before the tournament even STARTED? Did you get a prophecy? A burning bush? A leaked script from FIFA?!”
Messi looks up calmly, like a monk who just finished meditating on the pitch.
MESSI:
“Cris… I didn’t ‘know.’ I simply believed. And also—they were on sale.”
RONALDO:
“ON SALE?! I was BENCHED! Not even allowed to compete against you. The world deserved our duel! Portugal vs Argentina, GOAT vs GOAT, warrior vs wizard! Instead they sat me down like a substitute schoolboy!”
He throws his hands to the sky.
RONALDO:
“INJUSTIÇA! INJUSTIÇA!”
Messi shrugs with holy nonchalance.
MESSI:
“Maybe it was tactical. Maybe destiny. Maybe Netflix wanted a sequel.”
Then you appear, furious, waving your hands like a prophet with a grievance scroll.
FATHER JOE:
“If I say the Pope was a dying Argentine who handed Messi the World Cup, they’ll EXCOMMUNICATE ME! But someone must speak truth to power! FAIR PLAY, FIFA! Even priests must obey VAR!”
You slam your staff on the ground.
FATHER JOE:
“Our Lion of Judah—JESUS—demands JUSTICE on the pitch!”
A dramatic silence falls.
The stadium lights flicker as though Heaven itself is listening.
Suddenly, a booming celestial voice:
THE LION OF JUDAH (echoing):
“Children… relax. Football is supposed to be fun. And for the record, Ronaldo, you weren’t benched—you were being ‘strategically rested.’”
Ronaldo gasps.
Messi tries not to laugh.
You point to the sky triumphantly.
FATHER JOE:
“SEE?! EVEN JESUS says the system is rigged!”
Ronaldo puts his arm around FATHER JOE.
RONALDO:
“Brother… we will get our justice. Next tournament, you and I together. We demand fair play!”
Messi pats you both on the back.
MESSI:
“Good luck. I’ll be waiting—with or without golden boots.”